We named our party play list daddy issues
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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