In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
