your room smells of hookers.
And success
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize