And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
