Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
