Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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