Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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