The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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