I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
