i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
