Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
