I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
