i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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