Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
