Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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