my vag is so smooth its legendary
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
