pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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