Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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