so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
