i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
whose ass print is on the piano?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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