dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize