just come out here and I will go home with you...
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Randomize
