At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
