i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
