Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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