well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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