I like my sex mixed with concussions.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
