some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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