More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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