Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Sorry about my life...
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
