Porn is love you can see.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
