Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize