how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Sober January is a disaster.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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