she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
