i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize