I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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