Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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