She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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