How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
