she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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