like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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