you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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