he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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