Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
