the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
