She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
