Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
