We're facebook friends in real life
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Help. Why am I so naked?
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