don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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