I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
