Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
