Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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