What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
