i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize