It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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