new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
