i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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