I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
