Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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