I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
