I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
