i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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