Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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