some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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