Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
