ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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