well I can't set my house on fire every night
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
