well you can't waste a boner
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Randomize
