Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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