he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
