dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
