Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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