Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
