Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
