alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
